Dating IRL Blog

All things funny, weird, sexy and thoughtful for dating IRL (In Real Life)

HE SAID, SHE SAID: Sexting

We asked our resident “friends with benefits” their perspective on the topic, from a female and male perspective.

Sexting is by definition sending (someone) sexually explicit photographs or messages via mobile phone. Do you feel comfortable doing it? How much do you need to trust the person you’re sexting with? Is it ever ok to send pictures?

He Said: Chris

Sexting honestly is a huge part of culture now, and flirting. It can be more mysterious and teasing than calls and meetups, and also allows more communication than ever.

Frankly, I’m fine with it, and have done it many times. It’s exciting and keeps things fresh when you aren’t able to see someone. Guys – you’re sitting in your office and just finished a project, look at your phone and your crush sends you a “just bought some sexy lingerie, maybe you’d like to see this weekend?” I don’t think I’m alone in feeling great about that. But it does depend on the person. Men are usually OK being the aggressors and are inviting when a woman is, but is it cool the other way around? I think you’d really need to test the waters, make sure she is really into it, and double check that box before sending something she doesn’t wanna see. It’s borderline harassment and can get you in trouble, never mind a bad reputation. As far as pics, I mean, I’ve done it. But I also got one back. I knew it was OK, and it was. Little tip for those wanting to show their “tip”: the internet is written in ink, not pencil!

Bottom line: Sexting is like drinking, do it with people you trust, in moderation, and responsibly, and you can have a blast.

She Said: Camila

I have mixed feelings about sexting. I’d probably do it with someone I’m in a relationship with, but definitely not with strangers/people I barely know. It involves a level of trust that is only acquired with time.

I think it’s totally okay to do it with a boyfriend or even someone you’ve been hooking up with for a while, especially if you two have a long distance relationship, or have fairly busy schedules. Sexting can be super fun and exciting when you’re both into it, and it can even be used as a foreplay technique. What I can’t accept is when a guy thinks he can sext and send dick pics without asking how I feel about it. That’s just beyond disrespectful.

Bottom line: As a woman, I can say that we enjoy sexting as much as guys do, but most of the time we don’t feel comfortable doing it with strangers. Sexting can be super fun, when both parties agree on doing it. Unsolicited dick pics, on the other hand, are never welcome. Boy Bye!